


I’ll Be Waiting

by molki



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:03:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molki/pseuds/molki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One thing only a few people knew about Sutan was that the idea of dying was what terrified him the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ll Be Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> One day I had a silly idea right before going to bed and since then I’ve been playing around with that idea and trying to write it down, the concepts kept changing as I wrote it and this ended up getting a lot longer than I initially planned, but I’m quite satisfied with the result so I hope you guys enjoy it! :) Feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Very explicit! Probably one of the most explicit things I've ever written, but also one of the most different themes that I've explored. I'm quite proud of the result of this one.

One thing only a few people knew about Sutan was that the idea of dying was what terrified him the most.  
  
“Oh fuck,” Karl unceremoniously dropped the remote control he had been holding as he stumbled around his living room, fumbling under the couch’s pillows. “Please, please, _please_ let me find my keys,” he muttered to himself, and then he sighed relieved when his fingers touched the familiar fluffy key chain. “Thank you.” He headed to the door in a rush, not even bothering to turn off the TV or to lock the door behind himself.  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
 _That’s it_. The thought repeated itself in a loop inside his mind as he saw the sky turn black at a horrifying speed right in front of his eyes, while he watched from his balcony. The wind wasn’t cool and refreshing as it usually was in his favorite spot of the house; it carried warmth that seemed to come from nowhere, considering the weather had been so cold for the past few weeks, and an unpleasant sulfur smell that, although faint, was still definitely noticeable.  
  
The buzz from his cell phone took him out of his daze, he looked over to the chair where the phone was on, watching the screen blinking insistently and debating whether he should answer or not. The past couple of days had been rough. Ever since things started to get critical and people began theorizing, uttering their prophecies to all who would listen, things had gotten complicated, to put it lightly. He had received calls from almost everyone he knew, even those who he hadn’t kept in touch for so long, years even. But the truth was that he didn’t know if he would have the guts to talk to anyone right now, his thoughts were wrecked and making no sense, he felt tired, overwrought.  
  
He stepped closer to the chair and picked the phone up anyway, deciding to answer once he saw who it was that was calling.  
  
“Open the door,” Karl said in a rushed tone at the other end of the line. “I’m here.”  
  
Of course he would come all the way here instead of calling like everyone else, Sutan thought with a smile that was barely there curving his lips. He didn’t even bother answering; he just followed to the living room, unlocking the door to find an apprehensive looking Karl at his doorstep.  
  
“So that’s it, huh.” He tried for a smile but the tears were swelling up into his eyes as he looked down at the other man. “That’s how everything ends.”  
  
Karl’s eyebrows were knit together as he circled Sutan’s waist with his arms, kissing his shoulder before he entered the house, closing the door with his heel and locking it behind them.  
  
“Whatever the hell is happening doesn’t matter,” He caressed the taller man’s back slowly as he felt him leaning into his embrace, placing his arms over Karl’s shoulders. “I’ll be here with you.”  
  
Sutan’s shoulders shook as he sobbed and Karl hugged him tighter.  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
It was already the second day they found themselves cloistered, they didn’t do much besides laying in bed cuddling, nodding off here and there and talking about anything but the situation that was crumbling down around them. They tried watching TV at first but the only things being broadcasted were the tragedies happening all around the world and they didn’t want any of that so, soon enough, they settled for watching some of the movies Sutan had on his DVD storage shelf.  
  
Karl could sense Sutan was sleeping from his slow breathing; the taller man had his face buried in the curve of Karl’s neck, both his long right arm and leg loosely thrown over Karl’s body. He caressed his way up Sutan’s smooth bare back with the tips of his fingers, loving the coziness and warmth of having him so close. The end credits of _The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of Desert_ were rolling up the screen when he noticed the lights flickering slightly. He frowned, looking up, and then the entire room was engulfed in darkness. There was no sunlight outside and they had shut down all the windows and turned the air-conditioner on because of the uncomfortable smell. Now, the dead silence inside the room almost felt heavy.  
  
He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to detach himself from the other man as carefully as he could.  
  
“Where are you going?” Sutan’s voice was sleepy and slightly hoarse. “Don’t leave me alone.” He rubbed his eyes with his hands. “Why did you turn off the lights?”  
  
“I didn’t.” He took a deep breath when he sensed the other man tensing up at that. “It must be a blackout or something.” He threaded his fingers through Sutan’s silky hair. “I’m sure the lights will be back soon.”  
  
“Or maybe they’ll never be back again.” He bit at his bottom lip apprehensively, looking in the direction he hoped to be Karl’s eyes.   
  
“Hey, let’s remain positive.” He brushed his thumb against the taller man’s cheek. “We can always light some of your scented candles while we wait for the lights.”  
  
“Ok, at least the place will smell good.” He started to get up, thankful for the fact that he knew exactly where his candles were.   
  
  
-x-  
  
  
They decided to light only two of the candles to save some for later in case they needed them, the fresh, sweet smell of lavender mixed with the muskier smell of sandalwood hung throughout the room now. Sutan also found some decorative led lights he kept inside his nightstand’s drawer. Thankfully the batteries were fully charged and so they hung them on the bed’s headboard, the soft blue light coming from them glowed into their faces as they lay on their sides, facing each other. From time to time they heard crashing sounds coming from the streets but for the most part the silence all around was deadly, the world seems to have halted to a stop.  
  
“It is a lot quieter than I would have imagined.” Sutan snuggled closer when the other man nodded. “Where are all the zombies, destructive asteroids, massive floods and fireballs people always told me about?” He chuckled quietly. “Who could have guesses that one day the world would just start shutting down, as if its batteries were dead.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I can’t make up my mind if this is scarier than the idea of chaos. Like this, we all feel so helpless and yet we keep hoping that something will happen to change the situation.”  
“We don’t know for sure if that’s what’s really going on.”  
  
“See? Hopelessly hoping it’ll get better.” He touched Karl’s face, “Babe, this is it, it’s been almost three days without electricity and sunlight, the weather keeps changing from high temperatures to really cold ones, the water is still running but I doubt it will be for much longer.” He could still see the glint of hope into the other man’s sad eyes. “I’m sorry but I can’t be strong enough to keep on hoping for the best.” He took a long, shaky breath. “At this point, I’m honestly doing my best to try to accept what’s to come.”  
  
“Maybe there’s nothing to come,” Karl muttered, refusing to accept the fact that the other was giving up that easily.  
  
“And that’s equally awful, it won’t be long until we run out of food and I can’t imagine going out in the complete darkness to find something to eat.”  
  
“But maybe there’s someone working on something already, and soon enough they’ll find a solution and reverse the situation completely.”  
  
Sutan smiled adoringly even as his eyes shone with impending tears. “You’re probably the bravest person I’ve met in my life.” The sentence came out as a whisper; he was trying hard to hold back his tears. “I’m so thankful to have had you.”  
  
“You still have me!” Karl hugged him then. “I’m still here, you are still here, don’t talk as if it’s all over.” He screwed his eyes closed while he pressed his chest against Sutan’s, bringing them as close as possible. “Please don’t say stuff like that, it frightens me.”  
  
“Are you scared?” The taller man loosened the hug a little bit, trying to look into Karl’s eyes while keeping him close.  
  
“Yes.” He confessed and a single tear rolled down his cheek.  
  
“Me too, love.” Sutan kissed Karl’s tear away. “But having you here definitely keeps me from going insane.”  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
If he had been counting the hours correctly it was already the fifth day, and Karl was starting to run out of arguments to defend his positive theories. As much as he tried to take Sutan’s head out of the worst case scenarios, he couldn’t help but keep on thinking about all the probable terrible things that could be happening at any moment now, and it made his heart ache. There was no way he was going to give in and accept that everything he knew and loved was going to be over any time soon, but it was also getting harder and harder to expect things would get any better.  
  
Earlier today he suggested that they should try to go through the day as normally as they could, no complaining about how awful things were and no lazing about in bed for the whole day. It was his attempt to lighten the mood even if just for a couple of hours. He took a long, relaxing bath, using one of Sutan’s expensive shampoos, which made his hair smell so nice he kept feeling the refreshing smell every time he moved.  
  
While Sutan was in the bathroom taking a bath himself, Karl tried to prepare something nice for them to eat. A lot of the things in the fridge were spoiled by now and that cut down a lot of his options, but he still managed to make some tuna sandwiches and a salad he prepared with peas, cherry tomatoes, thinly sliced scallion and a handful of chopped parsley, all seasoned with olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. He also grabbed a bottle of wine and sliced a couple of apples, bananas and a peach in small cubes, topping it all with honey for the dessert.  
  
He placed the dishes over at the dinner table and lit an extra candle, smiling satisfied at his handiwork. The worrisome feelings were still bothering him in the back of his mind, but for now he wanted to focus on having a nice meal and possibly even a good time. He looked up at the sound of the door opening only to find Sutan drying his hair with a towel and walking in his direction.  
  
“Wow, you’ve prepared quite a feast.” He smiled, looking genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like forever and it made Karl’s stomach give a little happy turn.  
  
“Yes, and you better be thankful, girl.”  
  
“I will, once I try it,” he mocked and laughed when Karl showed him his tongue.  
  
They chatted animatedly over dinner, drinking half of the bottle of wine. Karl felt giddy to notice that the small change he suggested had indeed helped them, taking their heads out of all the negativity and making them think about other things, favoring lighter topics that even made them laugh. Once they were done, they were feeling so full they decided to leave the dessert for later. They sat on the couch then, leaning against each other, and Karl smiled when he noticed they both smelled the same.  
  
“What should we do now?” Sutan whispered against his hair.  
  
“What do you feel like doing right now?”  
  
“I don’t know, there isn’t much we can do without electricity.” He sighed. “I wish we could draw, it’s been so long since we last drew together.”  
  
“Let’s do it then!” He looked up into Sutan’s eyes.  
  
“It’s too damn dark! It’ll give us a headache,” he muttered gloomily.  
  
“We can paint then! That way we won’t have to be focusing on small details,” He offered earnestly, hoping to pick the other man’s interest. “We can paint together, make a single painting, what do you think? Wouldn’t it be fun?” He poked Sutan’s side, making him giggle. “Come on, let’s do it!”  
  
“Fine, get the easel at the storage room and I’ll go grab the paints and brushes.” Sutan smiled brightly, looking honestly thrilled by the idea and that made Karl’s heart skip a beat.  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
The easel was neatly placed in the middle of the living room, he settled some pages of old fashion magazines he knew Sutan no longer wanted - as he always detached the important pages he was going to use for inspiration later - under and around it to make sure they wouldn’t make a mess with the paint. The windows were all open; they were hoping to ventilate the room now that the stench no longer hung in the air, but the breeze that was coming in was not enough to actually refresh the room. He didn’t find the canvas, so he decided to use the easel pads he knew Sutan kept behind one of his bookshelves, it looked good enough. He lit Sutan’s antique candle-holder to make sure they would have some more illumination, and when he was deciding which was the best position to place it - so it wouldn’t be shadowing the paper in a weird way - Sutan strode into the room with a big smile curving his lips and a small bag in his hands.  
  
“I have an idea!” He exclaimed, his happy tone making Karl grin amusedly. “What if we try using makeup?”  
  
“Painting with makeup?”  
  
“Yes.” He stopped right in front of Karl and held up two lipsticks he got from inside the small bag. “Let’s start with this and see how it goes? I brought a pink for you and a dark red for me, so we can have a nice contrast.”  
  
“Sure, honey.” He grabbed the offered item. “How should we go about this? Should I use it as a paint brush?”  
  
“No, we should apply some lipstick and paint with our lips, creating art with kisses, isn’t it wonderful?” His smile got wider still. “I saw an article in an Arts magazine about this once, there’s a woman who paints like that and her paintings are breathtaking.”  
  
“That must be so difficult to accomplish, darling. But I’m always up for a new challenge.” He winked at the other man and they both giggled.  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
They had started it off seriously, thinking carefully about where to place the next kiss mark in order to form a concrete image and a painting that actually made sense, but after failing to make a woman’s face, then a cat and even a house, they decided that abstract was a better way to go and even to express their feelings. They started to freely kiss their way on the paper, marking different parts of it together. There was lipstick smudged across their cheeks, chins and noses, and they had to laugh whenever they looked at each other’s faces. They were looking silly and the painting was looking sillier still, just random smudges of lipstick in two different shades smeared all around the white plane.  
  
“God, what the hell are we even trying to convey here?” Karl asked in-between giggles as he cleaned his face up with a tissue paper only to apply some more lipstick to his lips.  
  
“Our feelings!” Sutan declared as if it were obvious, tossing the tissue he had just used into the trash bin. “Damn, you’ve created a few perfect heart shapes with your lips, look,” he pointed to different directions with his left hand as he reapplied his lipstick with his other hand with some well-practiced and long mastered movements. “It’s adorning our feelings so prettily,” He looked at Karl with a fond glint into his eyes. “Your heart-kisses.”  
  
“Thanks for noticing.” He batted his lashes exaggeratedly, pursing his lips into a perfect pout.  
Sutan chuckled and moved closer to the painting, placing his lips directly over one of the marks he had just pointed at. Then he looked at Karl maliciously, arching one of his eyebrows. “An indirect kiss, because I felt like kissing a heart.”  
  
“Right.” Karl smiled up at him, holding his gaze with mirth in his eyes as he grinned. “You just wanted to smudge one of my perfect pink hearts because you couldn’t stand the fact that the best part of our creation was made by me.” He mocked in a cheeky tone.  
  
“Well,” he shrugged, “that doesn’t matter, because I’m about to give the best suggestion that will surely turn our painting into a piece of art.”  
  
“Oh yeah? And what is that brilliant idea?”  
  
“We should mix up the colors to create a third shade to include in the painting.” He bit his lip lightly and then smirked as he took a step closer to the other man.  
  
Karl hummed, swallowing hard. “And how exactly are we going to do that with lipstick?”  
  
Sutan grinned and took the last step that put him a breath away from the other man. He leaned in then, looking deep into Karl’s eyes. “Like this.” He muttered and then pressed his lips to Karl’s.  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
The painting was long forgotten as they snogged on the couch. They were facing each other as they sat side by side, hands wandering around their bodies, clutching and feeling the other up as they shared longing kisses. The bowl of fruits mixed with honey was now sitting on the coffee table right in front of the couch as they fed each other with spoonfuls of sweetness between long, lazy kisses.   
  
“This tastes so good.” Sutan breathed, squeezing Karl’s hips.  
  
“What, babe? The fruit or me?”  
  
“Both.” He licked his lips. “Can I have some more?”  
  
“Definitely.” He reached to grab the spoon, carefully bringing it to Sutan’s lips and watching as he chewed on it a few times before swallowing with an approving sound. “God, I think I can now officially list feeding you as one of my fetishes.” He bit his own lip and grunted when Sutan grabbed the spoon from his hand with an arched brow and slowly licked it clean. “It’s doing things to me.” Sutan deepened the spoon back into the dessert, coating it in honey before bringing it to Karl’s lips, smearing some of it across his lips and down his chin. Karl gasped and closed his eyes in anticipation of what was to come.  
  
“Let me do some more things to you then,” Sutan whispered hoarsely, pressing him against the back of the couch and licking a long line from Karl’s chin to his lips, licking the sweet stickiness off of them. “God, I wanna do so many things to you right now.” He punctuated his sentence sucking at Karl’s bottom lip.  
  
Karl opened his eyes to look up at him, shivering upon seeing the hungry desire in the other man’s eyes. They had fooled around before, they had kissed, they had hugged and done quite a number of other things they shouldn’t be doing together, according to some of their friends… but Sutan had never really expressed his desires so openly and that made Karl think that maybe tonight things could go a lot further than they had in the past. The idea was both terrifying and thrilling.  
  
“Do it then.” He raised his chin up, daring, “Do all those things to me.”  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
He heard it from a good number of people countless times before: Sutan was good at pleasing in bed. But none of them had warned him about the fact that he was also a tease.  
  
Karl’s breathing was erratic as he struggled to keep from moving, just like Sutan commanded. He felt the presence of the other man hovering over him and the fact that he had a blindfold over his eyes, preventing him from seeing anything that was going on, made all the sensations even more intense. He kept wondering what was going to happen next as he laid naked on Sutan’s bed, feeling exposed and yet more excited than ever, the other man’s fingers caressing his legs up and down slowly.  
  
Sutan spread his fingers over Karl’s thighs and then caressed his way down them with his short nails; he couldn’t hold back a smile when a needy moan escaped the shorter man’s lips at that. All they had done so far was kiss and exchange caresses and still they were both already so worked up, he could feel his desire piling up and growing by every second and he could barely refrain from rolling his hips against the bed. The sight before him was entirely to blame; Karl was sprawled on his bed, breath becoming labored as he tried hard to keep from moving, his pretty mouth parted and his chest heaving, he was barely managing to keep his hands still. The makeshift lighting around them, provided by both by the flickering candles and the blue decorative lights attached to the bed headboard, created distinct shadows that danced all over Karl’s body, the black blindfold also contrasted exquisitely against his skin.  
  
“Don’t move,” he whispered, licking his lips. “Stay still, babe.”  
  
“I’m trying!” Came Karl’s whimpered retort. “You are making it very difficult.” He gasped when Sutan’s hand came dangerously close to touching him where he needed it most. “God, not seeing you makes me anxious.”  
  
“Yeah,” he moved up, pressing kisses against the other man’s skin on his way, “I can’t believe you’ve never tried this before.” He licked Karl’s lips then, making him gasp. “Every touch is gonna be a surprise for you.”  
  
A low moan left Karl’s lips and he had to use all his willpower not to arch his back as he felt the warmth of Sutan’s tongue against his nipple. “I’m gonna warn you now,” another moan cut through his sentence as the other man sucked hard on his collarbone, “this may not work as well as you’re planning.”  
  
“I’m asking you for something simple,” he chuckled and then licked at Karl’s ear, humming his appreciation when the other man squirmed a bit under him at the contact. “You have to behave and be still, I’ll do all the work.” His voice was deep and full of promises. “I’ll make you scream,” he whispered against Karl’s neck.  
  
“ _Goddammit_!” Karl grunted and bit down hard at his bottom lip, his hips involuntarily bucking up against Sutan. “You are going to kill me!”  
  
“Quite the opposite,” he retorted with a wicked smile.  
  
Karl’s eyes were closed behind the blindfold but they shot open once he felt Sutan’s hand suddenly wrapping around him in a firm grip. He dug his nails into the bed sheets and curled his toes, doing everything he could to avoid his desperate need to reach up and touch the other man.  
  
“You are behaving,” he sucked on the shorter man’s neck as he started to work his hand up and down in a slow pace. “You are so good, babe,” he grunted as he pressed himself against Karl’s side. “Such a good boy.”  
  
A guttural sound left Karl’s lips and he pressed back against the pillows, he wanted to touch Sutan so bad! Especially now that he could feel just how turned on the other man actually was. “Yes,” he squeaked out breathlessly as the other man hand’s rhythm got faster. “ _Definitely_ going to kill me.”  
  
“Wouldn’t that be the nicest way to die?” He questioned in a low tone that made Karl shiver. “Damn, you’re turning me on so much.”  
  
A string of broken sounds left Karl’s lips as he felt Sutan’s other hand caressing up the inside of his thigh with fingers that were coated with something cold, he had a vague idea of what it was and the sheer thought made the muscles in his abdomen jolt in anticipation.  
  
“ _Hmm_ , somehow I always thought you would make the most wonderful little noises in bed,” Karl couldn’t help arching up when Sutan’s hot breath ghosted over his groin, surprising him, making his body forget about the promise of staying still. “I’m so glad I wasn’t mistaken.” And with a gentle chuckle and not a single warning, he engulfed Karl in the hotness of his mouth, making the other man utter a shrill cry as his hands flew up to pull at Sutan’s hair. “No touching me yet, darling,” he breathed out, letting go of Karl in order to warn him. “Behave or I might have to bind you down.” He tightened his grip on Karl’s length and sped up the movements of his hand, biting his lips when Karl let out a long moan and dropped his hands to his sides, grabbing fistfuls of the bed sheets. “That’s it. Focus on how I make you feel.”  
  
“Right now you are making me crave to see you,” he groaned at the sensation of Sutan’s hot tongue as the other man licked his way up his length, painfully slowly. “Fuck! I-” He whimpered when Sutan circled his tongue around him, making Karl’s body spasm involuntarily. “I wish I could see you-”  
  
“You’ll have to imagine how I look with your dick inside my mouth.” He chuckled when Karl noticeably swallowed hard at that. “I know just how imaginative you can be,” he uttered lowly and then he kissed Karl before covering him with his lips once again. He descended slowly as he savored every little, needy noise that came from the other man’s lips, his own increasing desire making his body feel warm as he closed his eyes and sucked hard.  
He had always been known for giving good head but this time around he was willing to outdo himself, so he put his all into it as he kept on sucking enthusiastically, tasting Karl as he swallowed him almost all the way, and licking at him vigorously every time he withdrew. Karl was arching his back once again, running his hands up and down the bed as he moaned and panted, spreading his fingers and scratching the bed sheets in order to satisfy his need to feel and touch the other man. Sutan hummed as he flattened a hand against Karl’s stomach, pushing him back down against the mattress and pulling back to smile wickedly when that made the other man whimper in frustration, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself a little bit. Even in the dark Sutan’s eyes glowed with desire as he watched Karl’s struggle to even his breathing as well as to stay still, even thought his body trembled slightly when the taller man resumed his stroking, blowing hot air against the sensitive skin that was not coated with saliva.   
  
He squeezed some more lube into his hand and rubbed his fingers together to warm it up as he sped up his pace, pumping Karl with firm and precise movements which made the other man sob a few incoherent words out that made Sutan smile in infatuation, how could Karl even manage to be that adorable?  
  
When he placed his lips over Karl’s length again, he also brought his hand between his legs and touched him right at his perineum, caressing him there and pressing slightly as he kept sucking. Karl’s whole body jolted in pleasure as a loud, guttural sound left his lips along with a series of curses Sutan had never even heard him use before. He took that as indication of the other man’s approval and so he sucked in his cheeks, pressing slightly harder against the spot he knew could so easily drive Karl crazy, as he moaned at the back of his throat to add to the overload of sensations he wanted to provoke.  
  
Karl hollered when Sutan slid his fingers down, circling his entrance with two fingers, smearing lubricant around his opening as he deep throated him.  
  
“Please, _please_ ,” his voice was weak and hoarse as he begged. “I want to touch you, I wanna touch you so bad,” he let out a long moan. “Please, baby, let me touch you!”  
  
Sutan withdrew upon hearing his pleas; he looked up at Karl, his own breath hitching when he saw the disheveled state the other man found himself in.  
  
“I will,” his voice was so low and hoarse it was foreign even to his ears. “Soon, babe.” He punctuated his sentence with a lick to Karl’s length as he pressed a finger in. The other man wailed in pleasure and Sutan couldn’t hold back a grunt at the enticing sound, he felt like he could never get tired of making Karl scream in pleasure like that.   
  
Karl felt like his whole body had reached an overly sensitive point where every small touch made a strong wave of pleasure hit him, making him screw his eyes tightly closed even though the blindfold was already blocking his vision. He could feel a slight tremble take over his body and he seemed to be unable to hold back all the needy mewls and embarrassing desperate sounds that reached his lips whenever he felt the hot touch of Sutan’s tongue and lips, or the tantalizing stroke of his long fingers as he handled him in such an intimate and careful manner, knowing the exact places where to touch him in order to drive him over the edge.  
  
“Su-” He whimpered when he felt a third finger being inserted and immediately curling inside him. “I’m so close already. _Aah_ -” He arched his back, covering his mouth, desperately trying but failing to muffle the long, needy moan that escaped him and made his own cheeks flush into a deeper shade of red as he heard just how dirty he sounded. “I need to at least see you, please?” He blubbered almost incoherently.  
  
Sutan’s body was reacting wildly at how desperate Karl sounded; he rolled his hips against the bed and moaned loudly while still devotedly working him up, but when the shorter man thrusted his hips up, unable to refrain from moving any longer, and as he whimpered Sutan’s name breathlessly, he knew he also could no longer hold back. He carefully pulled his fingers out and let go of Karl’s length, giving it one last long lick before moving up his body, kissing and nibbling his way up until he found himself hovering over Karl. With a swift movement, he pulled the blindfold out of the way, revealing Karl’s eyes, which were looking up at him, filled with desire and longing.  
  
He leaned in slowly, never breaking eye contact, his lips ghosting over Karl’s for brief seconds before he pressed their mouths together into a desperate kiss. Karl let out a keen, satisfied noise and he raised both his arms before stopping midair, remembering he wasn’t supposed to touch. He obediently froze like that, with his arms raised but still avoiding contact as he kissed Sutan back enthusiastically, desperately wanting to feel his skin but not wanting to break the rules of their little game.  
  
Sutan broke the kiss then, looking down at him with so much passion in his eyes that it made Karl shudder under the intensity of his gaze. “Touch me,” he commanded in a low, alluring tone that made Karl close his eyes and grunt. “Touch me anywhere you want, I wanna feel your hands all over me.”  
  
When his fingers finally touched the other man’s warm skin, it felt as if electric currents were passing through the contact. It made the hair at the nape of his neck stand as a shiver ran through his body, and he moaned hungrily as his hands explored the planes of Sutan’s back. His short nails scratched down the other man’s neck and chest as he pulled him for another zealous kiss. Sutan rolled his hips against his thigh and it felt so good Karl bit at the taller man’s bottom lip, eliciting a desirous groan from him.  
  
“On your knees,” Sutan uttered breathlessly as he suddenly moved off of Karl, sitting back on his heels and giving him the space to do as he was told. “Good, now turn around.” His throat was dry as he heard Karl’s small whimper and saw him nodding obediently as he turned around, giving Sutan the opportunity to eye his backside hungrily, running his hands all the way up and down, squeezing him and loving the way it made him arch his back slightly. “Fuck-” he ripped a condom packet open and started rolling it down his own length as he watched Karl leaning in, gripping at the bed’s headboard with shaky fingers. Sutan pumped himself up a few times with his slick hand as he watched the blue lights washing over Karl’s body and making the whole image even more captivating. “I’m afraid I’ll cum just by watching you.”  
  
“Don’t even think about it,” Karl protested but his voice was too breathy to sound heated. He looked over his shoulder into Sutan’s eyes, “Having you inside me is all I can think about, and you can’t deny me that after I behaved so nicely.” He finished his sentence with a provocative smirk.  
  
Sutan chuckled as he moved on the bed, pressing his chest to the other man’s back, making Karl lean further in, instinctively griping tighter at the headboard as he bent over slightly. The taller man nibbled at his neck as he pushed Karl’s legs farther apart with his hand so he could fit between them. He groaned as he pressed his erection against the perfect curve just under Karl’s ass, rolling his hips slightly and making the other man let out a throaty moan. “I want to fuck you senseless,” he whispered against Karl’s ear as he braced an arm around his waist and used his free hand to align his erection, starting to slowly push inside him with a groan.  
  
“ _Ahh_ -” Karl gasped and arched his back some more, pressing back into the taller man. “Oh my god-” his eyes rolled up as he felt Sutan all the way inside him. And when the taller man bit lightly at his shoulder, scraping his skin with his teeth as he attempted to stay still to give time for Karl to adjust, he just moaned loudly, meaning to show just how ready he was.  
  
Sutan grunted as he pulled out, only to slam his way back in as he hollered in pleasure. He placed his hands on each of Karl’s thighs and caressed his way up until he gripped firmly at both sides of his hips, all while picking up a faster pace. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, but he wanted to savor this moment as much as he could. The obscene sounds that filled the room, along with their languorous breaths that were getting higher and more desperate with every thrust of his hips, were making him feel dizzy. He closed his eyes as he tried to concentrate, biting his lip as he strived to maintain the steady rhythm.  
  
When one of Sutan’s hands caressed its way around to wrap over Karl’s erection and started to pump him in time with his trusts, the shorter man hissed and threw his head back, resting it against the other’s shoulder as he panted, choking on desperate moans every time his body was pressed flush against the Sutan’s.  
  
“I’m-” He groaned when Sutan licked at his ear, griping at his hips just a little tighter. “Soon-” He muttered incoherently, biting his lips together and arching his eyebrows as the imminent rush of warmth started to gather quickly inside his body at each vigorous movement. Both their bodies were rocking with the increase in Sutan’s hasty thrusts, and when the taller man’s hand caressed his length just the right way while he sucked on Karl’s earlobe, just as he thrusted that little bit deeper inside of him, it was simply too much and the shorter man cried out as he spilled his release over Sutan’s hand and one of the many pillows decorating the bed.   
  
It only took a few more hurried thrusts, the way Karl tightened around him making Sutan reach his peak with a deep, husky wail as he collapsed against the other man. They both slid down to lie in bed with their arms around each other as they struggled to catch their breaths.  
  
Karl opened his eyes as his heavy breathing gave way to soft pants, he smiled when he saw that Sutan still had his eyes tightly closed, the crease between his eyebrows letting on just how hard he was trying to even out his breathing. He reached up, touching Sutan’s cheek as he snuggled closer to nuzzle up against his neck. The taller man’s hand came up to lazily caress Karl’s hair as he laid gentle kisses on his temple.  
  
“I feel drained,” he grumbled weakly. “I could totally fall asleep like this.” Karl looked up at him, a small, content smile still gracing his lips. “But we’d better clean up the mess we made,” Sutan added with a grin. “And shower again, so I can cuddle you senseless before we sleep.”  
  
Karl giggled, supporting his weight up on his elbows so he could hover over Sutan before leaning down to kiss his lips.  
  
“It seems like you’ve been planning to leave me no trace of my senses, honey,’ he mocked, feigning an annoyed face.  
  
“That has always been my plan,” Sutan beamed up at him and Karl couldn’t help but grin.  
  
They were feeling so sated, tired and happy there was no talking or even thinking about their problems as they laid comfortably in bed. Joyful smiles adorned their relaxed faces as they hugged and kissed, exchanging whispered endearing words as they fell asleep together.  
  
  
-x-  
  
  
The smile reached his lips even before he opened his eyes as he felt the warmth of the other man lying beside him. Their limbs were still tangled and he sighed happily as he heard Sutan’s soft breathing as he slept soundly. Karl turned around and was about to snuggle back against the other man to try to sleep some more when he realized the room was way too bright. His heart and thoughts raced as he sat up, his hand reaching up to cover his mouth as he gasped in astonishment once he saw the faint sunshine seeping through the windows. A wide grin threatened to split his face in two as he launched himself on top of the other man, giggling when he grunted in protest.  
  
“What the fuck, bitch?” He complained weakly, his tone strained by sleep. “Let me sleep some more, I’m tired.”  
  
“Sleep can wait!” He chirped, his tone as cheerful as it could get. “The sun is back!” He added and clapped his hands a few times. “I told you we would be ok!”  
  
“ _What_?!” Sutan’s eyes flew open and he sat up, keeping Karl in his lap. “Oh!” He exclaimed as a stunned grin pulled at the corners of his lips, he kept on staring at the sunlight in disbelief.  
  
Karl held his face with both hands as he pecked Sutan’s gaping mouth with quick kisses, his chest swelling up with happiness and excitement. “We are going to be fine, baby.” He looked into the taller man’s eyes. “Everything is going to be fine after all.” He suddenly stood up on the bed, wrapping the blanket around his waist as he jumped up and down a few times, making Sutan chuckle.  
  
“All the more reason for you not to break my bed, bitch!” Sutan complained, but he soon laughed as he slapped Karl’s shin.  
  
Karl jumped off the bed and dashed to the window as he pulled the blanket up so he wouldn’t trip over the fabric that dragged behind him, touching the ground. However, what he saw just outside the window made his smile abruptly fade away. He could still hear Sutan’s laugh from where he was, still sitting on his bed, but the sound now seemed distant and misplaced. He took a few deep breaths before turning around, trying to wear his gleeful grin from before, but the look into Sutan’s eyes, as his expression started to change to one that was full of doubt and apprehension, told him that he wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding his feelings.  
  
“That’s it, right?” He asked lowly with a small smile on his lips that was sadder than tears. “It’s not going to be ok.”  
  
Karl bit hard at his trembling bottom lip as he sat in front of Sutan, he nodded curtly and tears started to swell up into his eyes as he noticed the fear starting to make the taller man’s body shake.  
  
“I’m so sorry, love,” he whispered as the tears started falling down, reaching to grab both of Sutan’s hands and starting to caress them soothingly with his thumbs. “Don’t be scared, I’m here with you.” He sniffled out. “I love you so _much_.” His sentence was punctuated by a pained sob and he hated himself for reacting like that. He was supposed to be the one who was strong enough to support Sutan now that he had to face his biggest fear, but the whole situation just seemed so cruel and unfair, especially after what they had just shared together. He couldn’t help feeling wounded up and broken.  
  
Sutan wasn’t crying but his whole body trembled as his breath got quicker and shallower. “I love you too, Karl.” He nodded, as if just now he could fully understand the truth in those words. “And, right now, the idea of losing you is ripping my heart apart.” He muttered and, finally, the tears filled his eyes as his face contorted into an anguished mask. “I don’t wanna lose you!”  
  
Karl reached to pull him into a tight hug and they both silently cried into the other’s shoulder, clinging to each other for dear life.  
  
“You won’t lose me,” he managed to whisper after a while. “Whatever happens, wherever we go after this,” he loosened their hug a little bit so he could look into Sutan’s eyes. “No matter what, I’ll find you, there’s no way we will end like this.”  
  
Sutan smiled weakly, brushing away the strands of hair that were falling into Karl’s face with his fingers. “I find it so endearing, the way you always see something positive no matter how awful the situation is.” He kissed Karl’s lips tenderly. “I trust you to find me, babe.”  
  
They held each other tighter still as a horrendous, shrill sound tore the silence apart and a blinding white light broke into the room. Karl screwed his eyes shut as tightly as he could and he still managed to hear Sutan’s whisper as he pressed his lips to Karl’s ear to say:  
  
“I’ll be waiting for you, love.”  
  
And then, there was nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> I would never be able to post this without the help of my dear friend and beta reader theartificiallucy ♥
> 
> This fic was originally posted here: http://artificialqueens.tumblr.com/post/128694569967/ill-be-waiting-rajila-by-moonlight
> 
> The fic got translated to Portuguese by rupaulfiction-brasil a while after. You can find the translation here: http://rupaulfiction-brasil.tumblr.com/post/129686213189/heeeey-eu-t%C3%B4-t%C3%A3o-feliz-em-inaugurar-o-blog-com


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